I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
