my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
