Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
