My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
