Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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