I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
