i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
