His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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