Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm too high and old for this...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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