I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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