i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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