is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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