When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
