The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
