Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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