is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
third nipple confirmed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
