I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
