i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
