Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
