I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
