he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
