Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
