weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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