i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
