So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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