it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
