and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
