i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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