Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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