i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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