he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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