'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
