I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
