theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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