Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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