I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize