your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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