I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
