After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
