I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
