i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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