TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
