At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
