He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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