What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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