remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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