You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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