I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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