1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
