just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
