end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
