There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
