That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
