Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize