doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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