if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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