Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
