(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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